Conning Sweethearts
by Aelfrick Sai Wolf
Summary: Itachi and Sasuke are con artists. After having a major setback, they plan to do the ultimate con to set them for life. Along the way Sasuke does the unthinkable and the unthinkable happens to Itachi. AU,Yaoi,NaruSasu,KyuIta,char. death.
1. WTF! I WANT A DIVORCE!

A/N: Ok I got this idea from watching that movie with Jennifer Love Hewitt and Sigourney Weaver where they were the mother/daughter con artist duo and thought really long about how to Naruto this up, and well here is the end result. Enjoy (I hope)!

**Warning for this chpt: adult themes, KyuIta, KyuSasu, cursing, mild violence involving a ring**

**Conning Sweetheart**

**Chapter 1: WTF? I WANT A DIVORCE!**

Lips locked and tongues explored each other's mouths heatedly as the recently married couple stumbled into the room. Soon the long-haired brunette fell back on the bed of their honeymoon suite, with his husband eagerly following while stripping off both their shirts in the process.

The red headed male attacked the chest presented to him, all the while allowing his hands to roam over the pale-skin beauty beneath him. Just as he was about to reach for the belt, he moved up and began to lick and nibble at the spot where the shoulder and neck connected, leaving a small bruise mark. Raising his head slightly to admire his work, he resumed the task of removing his new hubby's pants. Whipping off the belt he made his way to strap the brunette's wrist to the bedpost, only to meet a loud snore in his face.

Snapped out of his lust filled daze, the red head looked down at his lover only too see him sound asleep. Figuring that he was faking it and that no man could hide their arousal after his previous ministrations so quickly, he began to grope his lover's crotch to find that the brunette really was asleep, his arousal long gone (no pun intended). Growling in frustration, he climbed off his 'bride', straightened his rumpled pants and pulled on a red and orange stripped Old Navy polo shirt that offset his red hair and crimson eyes. Sighing audibly at his lost of what would have been rounds of amazing sex; he placed a kiss on the brunettes head and left the suite to drink his misfortunes away.

Hearing the door close, Itachi remained motionless a few minutes longer before in case his new job forgot something. After ten minutes of just laying there, he got up and began searching through his jacket pocket for his cell phone. He had to make sure plans were going smoothly and this one call will confirm this.

After about two rings, the other line picked up and another voice answered in smooth baritone voice somewhat similar to his own, only a pitch higher.

"Hello"

"Sas…I mean Ryuuchi, this is Shiushi. Is Kyuubi are the bar yet?"

"Yes Shiu, he's about 4 seats away from me now. With the way he's drinking already, I'll give him another 15 minutes before the plan is in motion."

"Alright, then. Don't screw this up. Now make sure to tell say your room number clear enough for the bartender to hear, and also…."

"I know what I'm doing damn it! It's not like this is my first time you know"

"Fine whatever, I come see you in an hour's time. And remember, 'Don't be silly, Protect your willy **(1)**' see you later." Itachi smirked at the growl of embarrassment on the other end before the call was cut.

Settling back into the comfortable bedding, He took the remote and began flicking through channels to find something interesting to watch. When he found nothing, he snatched the hotel menu from the side table and called the front desk for room service. Ordering only the most expensive items and demanding that they reach hear within fifteen minutes he hung up and began flicking channels again just to bypass time until his food came.

Meanwhile, at the hotel bar, an ebony-haired young man sat, sipping absent mindly at the mix of lemon and lime juice with some aromatic bitters **(2)**, studying the crimson eyed man sitting away from him, who was now on his third glass of 'Liquid Cocaine'**(3)**'

'_Hmm…he seems to have a high tolerance if he could down 2 glasses of that stuff without feeling heady'_Sasuke aka Ryuuchi pondered with a slight frown.

However after that thought he saw his target began to sway slightly after tossing back half of the third glass.

_'Then again 2 more glasses of the stuff should be enough to make him lose his bearings completely,'_smirk quickly replaced the frown at this

Exactly fifteen minutes later a somewhat smashed Kyuubi was found resting on the bar counter. He wasn't completely passed out as he kept raising his head quickly, only for it to meet the cool counter surface again, with a groan at the headache he got. Releasing a sigh of defeat, the bartender, a man with strange blue spiked hair, gave up on trying convincing him to just leave for his room, and turned to the other occupant at the bar for help.

"Excuse me sir?"

At this, Sasuke turned to the bartender with a questioning gaze, "Yes?"

"Umm…if it's not too much trouble, sir, but can you please help this man back to his room?"

Turning to the semi-conscious red head, he gave a slight nod, finished off his drink and moved to help him.

"Thank you, sir. I believe he is the one of the newlyweds from the honeymoon suite," the bartender said as he helped the drunken man to stand

Giving another nod, he slung an arm around the man's shoulder and helped him walk (stumble) out the bar.

"I was expecting to see meet someone here, my cousin to be more specific. When you see him just send him up to room 302 please. He looks like an older version of me with lines under both his eyes," Sasuke informed the bartender, who replied with a 'no problem.'

Upon reaching the elevators, Kyuubi turned his head to regard the stranger helping him, but too much alcohol caused his vision to be blurred and thought he saw Shiushi helping him.

"'Shi baby," he slurred and proceeded to drape his body more around 'Shiushi's.' Burying his face into the crook of his neck, he began to nuzzle him affectionately, and then proceeded to lick and nibble at his pulse point there. "Ready to continued what we started earlier?" he whispered huskily.

Sasuke took all this in stride and patiently waited until the elevator arrived with a ding. Dragging the still nuzzling Kyuubi into the elevator, he pressed the floor where his room was located as well as the one for the honeymoon suite **(4)**. As soon as the door closed, he face was turned and his lips were attacked. The strong smell of alcohol filled his nostrils as the red-head continued his assault.

Kyuubi then started to grind his hips roughly against ' Shiushi's' and slipped his tongue into the mouth that opened with surprise. Pushing him against the wall, he began unbuttoning the shirt and pulled it back roughly as he began attacking the skin presented to him. All Sasuke could do was moan at the onslaught of pleasure he was getting.

Exactly twenty-five minutes after the stranger left to help with the drunken newlywed. The real 'Shiushi' strolled into bar and took a seat at the bar where he ordered a Cranberry Vodka on the rocks from a bartender with slicked back grey hair. Taking a look around the bar for a familiar face, he didn't even notice when his drink was placed in front of him.

Sighing lightly, he turned to see his drink already there. Muttering thanks to the bartender he sat there, idly stirring the beverage, taking occasional sips and glancing at his wristwatch and around the bar. Ten minutes later, grunting with annoyance, he called over the bartender and asked him if he saw a pale skin young man that had black hair that spiked in the back and bangs covering his face.

"Hmm, no can't say that I have, sir. Let me ask the other bartender if he did. Hey Kisame!"

"What Hidan? I'm busy with another customer right now!" a gruff voiced responded.

"Well hurry up I got something to ask yuh!" Hidan replied.

Not five minutes after a tall man with strange blue spiked hair and gill like tattoos on his faced approached the pair. He was about to ask Hidan what he wanted when he spotted the other customer.

"Oh hey are you looking for your cousin?" A nod was given in the affirmative. "Tall pale guy with spiked black hair and bangs?" another nod was given "Well he told me to tell you to meet him in room 302. He had to leave because he was helping this drunken guy back to his room."

"Thank you for the help; do you know where I can find Rm. 302 per chance?"

"Sorry you'll have to ask front desk for that"

Placing money for his drink on the counter, he swiftly got up and walked towards the front desk for the information needed.

"Good evening sir and welcome to the Red Clouds. My name is Konan, how may I be of assistance?"

"Yes good evening. I was told by your bartender, Kisame I believe, that you can tell me where I can Rm. 302? I was supposed to meet my cousin there."

"Not a problem sir. Just take the elevator to the 4th floor, walk down the corridor and turn left at first set of corridors you meet. The room should be either the third or fourth door on your right."

"Thank you for your help" and with that Itachi headed for the elevators. Following the directions to a T he quickly found the room and found the door open with the latch blocking it from closing properly. Hearing a bed slamming against a wall as well as some grunts and moans, Itachi soon schooled his features as he entered the room.

Upon entering he saw his 'cousin' being pounded into mattress by his husband. Taking a deep breath, he hardened his eyes and shouted,

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!"

Hearing his brother's voice, Sasuke quickly stilled his movement with smirk on his face and pushed the red head off of him. Kyuubi dazed by the sudden movement, shook his head a couple of times to get rid of his drunken feeling and turned to the doorway. Blinking rapidly to clear his vision, his eyes soon widened when he saw his husband standing there looking livid. He drunkenness soon forgotten, he turned the man he was having sex with and saw a look of confusion upon his face.

"KYUUBI NAMIKAZE I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ARE FUCKING SOMEONE ELSE ON THE NIGHT OF OUR HONEYMOON!" Itachi bellowed. His shouting seems to have attracted a few guest out of their rooms and some were crowding around the door way outside. Some heard what was shouted and began throwing disgusted looks at the red head as he pathetically tried to cover himself.

"And not only that!" he lowered his voice a bit but kept the livid look on his face, "you fucking my younger cousin! What did you just marry me to get to him huh?"

Widening his eyes at the accusation, he quickly glanced at the other raven, who was desperately trying to hide his shame with is hair. In reality Sasuke was hiding his smirk of triumph at the plan's success.

"But…but, I thought he was you!" was his stuttered response. At this the younger raven shot his head up and glared at the cowering red-head.

"That's not what you said when you began molesting me in the elevator, you bastard. If I knew you were married, even to Shiushi, I wouldn't have given in to you!" he sneered maliciously. Turning to his 'cousin' his face saddened.

"I am so sorry Shiushi," here he hung his head again, voice quivering a bit for added effect, "I…I didn't know he w...was your hus...husband. I hope y…you can forgive me." Here he allowed a few tears to drop and added sniffles to it make more believable.

Turning to his cousin, Itachi softened his gaze. "You are not to blame for this Ryuuchi; you didn't know this bastard was my husband. I can't forgive you yet, but I am not mad at you. You on the other hand," here he turned to back to Kyuubi, glare, almost glacial, returned, "you on the hand can just rot in hell you cheating son of a bitch. You better have a good lawyer."

Kyuubi blanched at this, "Wh...Why?"

"Because you disgusting fucker, I want a fucking divorce!" at this he tore off his ring flung it at Kyuubi's head, smirking when the gem made a good size cut as it collided.

**And there you have the first chapter of 'Conning Sweethearts'**

**Love it? Hate it? R & R and tell me**

**(1) I read this line in another fan fiction where Itachi told this to Sasuke to piss him off and felt that Itachi lives to annoy his younger brother so I just had to add it.**

**(2) This is a real drink that is becoming (if not already) quite popular where I'm from. It tastes really great but I think you can only get aromatic bitters where I'm from though.**

**(3) Another real drink that is made up of Jägermeister and **G**oldschläger that can make you get really drunk really fast if your tolerance isn't all that (my limit is 1 glass and then 2 shots of it, believe the headache u get will be painful)**

**(4) he does this cuz he know Itachi is waiting for the elevator so he could sneak out and sneak back into the hotel as to not arouse suspicion (it's part of their plan)**

**U.C.R now known as Aelfrick**

**p.s If anything is confusing just message me and I'll try to explain the best way I can**


	2. Big Trouble Leads To A Big Job

**Well here's chapter two of "Conning Sweethearts" sorry it took a while but I was trying to remember the scene and then luck graces me with its presence at 3am where lo and behold "Heartbreakers" (the movie i based this storyline on) was showing. Of course I tried not to follow the speech too much as that's just unimaginative but there are a couple of line from the movie here. Anyways ready and enjoy.**

**Warnings:- no coupling here, cursing (this will apply throughout the whole story so this is last warning for this), somewhat extreme OOCness, oh and Sasuke beating his brother at something**

**Conning Sweetheart**

**Chapter 2: Big Trouble Leads To A Big Job**

Two months later, the now divorced 'Shiushi' and his so called cousin 'Ryuuchi' sat in a high end restaurant in a secluded booth discussing earnings and plans for the future. Well discussing earning on Itachi's part while the latter was discussed by Sasuke.

"Listen Itachi just give me my share so I can be on my way. You said this was the last one and then I'm on my own," Sasuke growled.

"Foolish little brother, you think that the amount I got from this one will be enough to set you up for life?" came Itachi's response.

"Goddamn it Itachi I don't care if all you made from this was 5 grand! I just want out of this with my cut so I get one with my life!"

"Hn, fine then. But don't come crawling to me when the first person you fall in love with screws you over, leaving with nothing but a baby to take care of."

"I'm not that stupid Itachi. Besides the only way that will happen if I married a female or we have more family magically appear and one of them just gave birth."

A small flash of emotion passed through Itachi's eyes so quickly that if you weren't paying attention you would have missed it, but as Sasuke was directly in front of him he saw it and somewhat regretted what he said.

"Look Itachi, I didn't mean it like that. I know it wasn't your fault mom and dad got killed. Dad was a stupid prick to kick you out after what your lover did. It was his fault that mom went into depression and hung herself and then got drunk in his grief and drove off that cliff."

"No Sasuke, I know it's not my fault, but it doesn't stop me from blaming myself. It was a good thing Obito's ex-lover took me and showed me the ropes to help set me up before all that happened."

"I know the whole story brother. You will just have to trust me and hope that you taught me well enough to know I'll be fine, okay?"

Rolling his eyes slightly, he gave a small nod and grabbed a small bottle from his jacket pocket. "Fine, we'll go to the bank tomorrow set you up. You're just lucky I got 80 grand from this one instead of the 5 you suggested earlier, but I keep the car. Dinner's on me." Here he opened the bottle and discreetly emptied some of its contents into his plate of untouched food. Putting back the bottle, he picked up his fork and began to impale his chicken breast.

"What the hell? Garçon! Garçon!" Itachi called over the nearby waiter. The waiter along with the Maître'd **(1)**of the restaurant came to see what displeased their customer. Sasuke looked over at his brother's plate and trained his face into a look of grimace and disgust.

"Is there a problem with the food, sir?" the Maître'd inquired.

"Yes there is a problem," Itachi answered with a glare focused on the waiter. An audible gulp was heard from the young boy. "I was just about to eat and found some hair and small pieces of glass in my food. I dare say if this is how you normally feed your customers, I will have to rethink coming or sending any of my piers here again."

The Maître'd blanched slightly at this and quickly responded, "Of course not sir, this has never happened before," snapping his fingers twice and with a small wave of his hand, the waiter under Itachi's glare quickly moved both plates of food. "I can assure you it will never happen again. As for your dinner, do not bother about the bill and accept a complementary bottle of champagne?"

"Hn, make a bottle of red wine or Chardonnay, and I'll forget all about this little fiasco" Itachi countered. Nodding at the request, the Maître'd turned around in order to get the requested drink, missing smirks on both of the pale skinned customers.

"I don't see what the problem here is, Neji. We give you money to put in, so you can give us back the money when we need it," Itachi glared at the lavender-eyed man behind the mahogany desk. "Now explain to me why the hell you won't give us any of _our_money out of _our_account!"

"Calm down Mr. Uchiha. It is not that I won't give you your money it just that…" the other man known as Neji started.

"It just that he can't give you something that isn't there," a new voice completed. Three heads turned to see who interrupted them. A tall fair-skinned man stood in the doorway with slicked down grey hair with a bang covering his left eye. He had on a grey suit that was 3 shades darker than his hair that complemented his dark gray-blue eye that was shown. He reached into his inner jacket pocket and handed a card to Itachi. "Asuma Umino **(2)**, IRS. It seems, Mr. Uchiha that you haven't filed your claims in nearly eight years and you owe an awful amount."

Itachi looked shocked and slightly embarrassed. Sasuke turned to his older brother with a look of fake shock and said in a fake disappointed tone, "Itachi! I am shocked and appalled at what you've done. I can't believe it."

"Oh shut up Mr. Uchiha Jr. We haven't seen a dime from you either," Asuma snapped at Sasuke. Looking at Itachi again he continued, "Look all we want is our cut."

"But I thought my spouse was taking care of any taxes that I had," Itachi finally said, shaking out of his stupor.

"Oh really, which one would that be?" Asuma asked in a mocking tone.

At this Itachi hardened his facial features and turned his glare to glacial, "Look just because I'm have trouble with my personal life doesn't mean that's any of your goddamn.…"

Waving his hand dismissingly Asuma continued, "Whatever the case Mr. Uchiha, we don't care how you and your brother get your money all we want is what you owe."

Glaring even harder at being dismissed he clenched his teeth and fists. Nostrils flaring slightly, he gritted out, "Fine, how much do we owe you bastard."

Eye crinkling in amusement at the younger man's reaction, he was silent for a while as he seem to be calculating the amount needed. "Exactly 450 grand plus late fees and whatever other cost, comes up to about 495, 950 dollars."

At the amount Sasuke eyes widened and began silently hoping there was enough in the account to pay it off. Turning to his brother, he heard him scoff lightly and saw him pull out his checkbook from his pocket. Grabbing the pen off of their banker's desk, Itachi began to fill out the check for the amount. He was slightly surprised to feel the pen being pulled out of his grasps.

"Oh no, no, no, no. That is the amount owed remaining after we cleared out your account. Oh by the way, for the last deposit," here Itachi was given a thumbs up.

"How the fuck do you suggest we pay off that amount then?" Sasuke sneered.

"Again Mr. Uchiha Jr. I really don't care how you do it, but we will reimburse you some of the money now to help out your situation. We'll give you only ninety days to come up with our money or you will be charged and thrown in jail but knowing Mr. Uchiha that shouldn't be a problem now," and with that Asuma walked off.

"Well that's 850 dollars for you and 850 dollars for me, coming up to the grand total of 1700," Itachi said as he handed Sasuke his amount while sitting in their car, "With the way prices are rising these days I'm sure you can find a nice cardboard box to stay in while you're out there living a normal life."

Glaring at his older brother, Sasuke snatched his amount and stuffed it into his pants pocket. "None of this would have happened Itachi if you just paid your shit. Fuck, now we have to more conning just to make it by."

"Nothing is wrong with that Sasuke, you should be used to it by now," Itachi deadpanned. Big mistake to say. Sasuke turned livid and his glare turned Arctic as he turned back to his older brother.

"Used to it? Used to It? You think I like seducing strange married men that think that I'm you while their pound my ass into a bed. Even some of the women you married are worst than the men cause they prefer to tie _me _down while riding me, the last almost broke my _dick_ off you fucker. All I wanted was to just take my share and live a fucking normal life, but you just have to go fuck up my life again Itachi. And after all that happens, in the end is a big payoff; do you know how that make me feel? Do you? It makes me feel like some whore who'd do anything for a quick fuck! You think I like feeling like that Itachi! DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK THAT?" Sasuke was now heaving by the end of his rant as he watched his brother sink down more into his seat.

Itachi has never been on the receiving end of his brother's strongest glare and fury. Sure his glare was pretty strong enough to make the strongest willed men piss themselves and he is always on the receiving end of his brother anger, but to be on the receiving end of his younger brother's Ultimate Death Glare and now his _fury_, was something Itachi was not prepared for. He hung his head shamefully and waited patiently until his brother's breathing was regulated and calm.

Ten long minutes after, Sasuke finally quelled his burning rage to a small flint and collapsed back into his seat somewhat exhausted from the amount of emotions he let loose. Itachi finally raised his head and answered his brother's questions calmly as to not agitate him further.

"No Sasuke I don't think, I know you don't like feeling like that because I felt the same way when I was working with Kakashi while he was showing me the ropes. And I know that you want a normal life because I want the same thing too, but right now what we need is an income in order to do that. If it wasn't for that bastard father of ours and his brother Madara, we would have gotten all of our inheritance instead of paying off all of his debts and losing the rest our uncle. I really am sorry that we now have to more cons but…."

"No" Sasuke cut him off.

"No what Sasuke?" Itachi inquired.

"No more 'cons' we just need one. Besides we don't have time to do a lot," Sasuke deadpanned.

"And where do you propose we go to get this 'one.' Because I'm sure that there isn't a lot in the inner and eastern states."

"Palm Beach," was the calm reply.

"What! Are you crazy? Those people down there are more wary of the people they meet than the other losers we've been doing. I say we just stick to the small one for now until we move our way up," Itachi reasoned.

"No! I refuse to whore myself anymore than I have to Itachi. It's either Palm Beach or nothing. Please Itachi, I just don't want to feel like this anymore," pleaded Sasuke as he grabbed his brother's sleeve.

Looking at his brother's eyes he saw the loneliness and self-disgust there and released a breath of defeat and shook his head. "Fine Sasuke, we'll do Palm Beach. Just don't plead again; you're an Uchiha and we don't plead to anyone."

Releasing his grasp on his brother's sleeve, Sasuke faced forward as Itachi started the car that he got from his last divorce settlement, and headed for Palm Beach. Bending his head and letting his bangs to hide his face, he allowed a small smile to grace his features; one that Itachi or anyone else would ever see him have...

Or so he thought.

**Well there you have it, Chapter 2. R & R and tell me what you think.**

**(1) I am not sure how you spell this but it means Head waiter i believe if not someone tell me cuz I haven't studied French in like 4 years.**

**(2) I know that this isn't really Asuma and yes it is who you all think it really is but for the sake of the story just accept it.**

**Most of this story or any other stories that i do are from memory and I know most of the lines and scenes are off but where's the fun in jus copying it exactly. The phrase is copying and making it your own, which is something I am trying my best to do. Hopefully I've succeed**

**Anyways again R & R and tell me your thoughts whether good or bad**


	3. People Are Such Gullible Morons

**Ok wow. I feel horrible for haven't been updating for so freaking' long, but life during the time was fucking me over in the worse way and the last year was like when all that went good and bad finally settled like after a sandstorm. I guess it was giving me a chance to be fresh for the new decade and now I am ready to continue my stories and submit some new ones as well**

**Warnings: - It's a more of a filler chapter but as they say, you can't tell a story without all the details! accidental violence, hurt ego, and verbal assault Oh My! also a bit of product placement**

**~On to the Story! ~**

**Conning Sweethearts**

**Chapter 3: People Are Such Gullible Morons**

It was a really long drive to Palm Beach, and as such with any car, even with great mileage, gas was a requirement in order to get there. As they pulled into a small gas station, they were followed in by a royal blue Buick, with chrome trimmings and white walled tires, giving the car a fifty's look and vibe. As it parked on the opposite side of the pump, a tall, slender man exited the vehicle wearing a dark-green pinstriped shirt and pewter colored pants, with a matching silver solid tie and black shoes. As the man turned his back to open his side of the gas tank, the Uchiha brothers exited their vehicle, the elder of the two carrying a map in his hand.

When the stranger pulled out his wallet and placed his card into the slot to pay for the gas, they struck. Itachi pulled the guy's attention by asking for directions and complimented the man's dark circle glasses, while Sasuke quickly took the card for their slot,slid it in, and returned it to its original place and turned to remove the nozzle to start pumping gas for their car. As he faced back his brother he heard their conversation and quietly snorted at how gullible people were, especially men, for the Uchiha charm.

"So basically we just take this route here and we'll be in Atlanta** (1)** by nightfall?" Itachi inquired the tall stranger while inconspicously caressing the man's arm.

Feeling this, the man began to turn slightly red and answered," Yes just follow that road, it's much faster than the highway, especially during this time of day. You'll avoid the majority of the traffic, plus get a nice scenic view of the state."

"Thank you again for the tip, sir. We'll definitely make it to our grandmother's birthday in plenty of time now," Itachi added a little squeeze to the man's elbow before stepping away.

"It's no problem at all, and call me Ebisu. Sir makes feel old," Ebisu said with a small laugh at his own joke.

With their conversation ended, both men returned to their original stations, one completely oblivious to the devious smirks on the pair of paler faces. After quickly filling their tank, and a small argument, the brothers left the gas station, this time with Sasuke as the driver, and Itachi as the slightly annoyed passenger. They followed the GPS route all the way to Palm Beach, and along the way the elder of the two decided to take a nap to help calm his hurt ego. He was jostled awake when he felt the vehicle stop, and after seeing the hotel Sasuke pulled up at, he immediately began disagreeing.

"What the hell are we doing at the Ritz-Carlton Sasuke? What happen to the motel I programmed into the GPS?"

Sasuke turned to Itachi and replied snippily, "If you seriously think I am going to stay in some disease-ridden cesspool of a motel with no cable or internet access while you live up the life of luxury in some rich coot's mansion, you must have been sniffing some strong sharpies when you were younger. I am finally home!"

"How do suppose we pay for your 'home' with only $850 each? This time of season, the prices are about $500 a night!" Itachi began to bargain.

"The same way we paid the gas for the car and also how we got said car," was Sasuke's smooth rebuttal.

Knowing that was already the answer, Itachi just shook his head in defeat and got out of the car. _'Man three times for the day I have lost to that brat. Maybe he is ready to be on his own, but I just down want to lose the only family I got or let him get hurt by some douche-bag. I better step up my game, and I think I know how…'_ an evil glint in his eye that went unnoticed by his brother, Itachi knew exactly how to get into a room for free for the next few weeks. It may end up with his brother hating him for a while, but he figured it was worth the fun.

"I'll wait inside while you help the bellhop" Itachi told his sibling as he turned to leave.

Once inside the lobby, he cunningly made his way to an innocent, previously watered plant, and discreetly cause a crack that jutted out a bit to make it look like water caused the pot's demise. He moved back to his planned position, and waited a few minutes for his brother to enter. When he did, both brothers walked towards the front desk, and Sasuke asked how they were going to do this one and threw in some random ideas. When he got no reply, he turned to his brother, and his world started falling and ended with a sharp pain in his right leg and head. Stars danced in his vision and before he could shout at his brother, he heard Itachi yelling.

"Oh My God! Someone Call A Doctor! I Think He Cracked His Skull!"

He felt some moisture soak into the bottom of his trousers, and felt a hand move behind his head. He knew what was happening and played along.

"No don't worry Shinseki, I'm fi….AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Sasuke said as he began to get up, only to drop back down and passed out.

* * *

He was "awakened" by a bright light being shone into his eyes. He began to blink rapidly to remove the spots that appeared and focused his sight onto the person responsible for his temporary blindness. Unfortunately all he got was a face full of mammary glands** (2)**, and released a grunt at the sight of them. Thankfully his grunt got them removed from his face and he saw the serious face of young, white-blonde haired woman with icy-blue eyes. She was wearing a deep-purple, sweetheart corseted-styled top and a crisp white shirt over it that barely contained her chest, and knee length A-line charcoal-grey pleated skirt that enhanced her curves. Around her neck hung a stethoscope, which told Sasuke that this strange woman was his doctor

"Ahh, so you awake. My name is Dr. Yamanaka** (3)**, and I am here to examine you. You had quite the nasty fall so I just want to make sure nowhere is broken," Dr. Yamanaka told her patient.

"Why am I here and not in the hospital if I had such a bad fall?" was the inquiry given by said patient.

"Well the hotel didn't want any bad publicity from someone leaving in an ambulance, so they had someone call me over here since I am a regular guest and since I was already staying here, they just looked for me by the pool and told me what happened," she informed. "Now Mr. Suzuki** (4)**, you will feel a series of taps. Tell me if you feel any pain as I move around"

While the Doctor began her examination, Sasuke heard some voices in the other room and focused his hearing to listen in on the conversation while still very wary of the doctors ministrations. He immediately recognized Itachi's voice and the other he figured was the manager, seeing as the topic being discussed was him and the room.

"Again Mr. Suzuki, we are terribly sorry for what happened earlier in the lobby with your cousin, we here at the Ritz-Carlton are baffled at how something like this could happen and we assure it won't happen again," the hotel manager; a petite, pale skinned woman, with light pink dyed hair wearing a dark grey tweed skirt suit and dark-red blouse with the name tag 'Sakura Haruno,' told the older of the two.

"Next time try investing in a mop, or even better planters pots. We won't be suing for your hotel's negligent actions, especially since you also lost our reservations we made and paid for months in advance. I suggest you fire whoever manages that," Itachi replied coldly.

"Don't worry sir, actions were set as we came up here. Now about your reservations, I am afraid that we can only let you have this room only a few nights…" Sakura started

At this Sasuke let out a loud yell, and he timed it perfectly with where the doctor had tapped on his back. Both Itachi and Sakura turned toward him and Sakura's face got nervous

"After that we will work out the other arrangements," she finished quickly.

"Hn, fine. Can everyone please leave so my cousin can get some rest" Itachi demanded.

Sakura quickly left the room, but the doctor stayed behind a bit to tend to Sasuke some more.

"I'll leave as soon I bandage his leg. It seems he cut along his leg on the broken pot when he fell. Thankfully it's not deep, so it should heal without much scarring," Dr. Yamanaka explained while she applied some antibacterial cream to the cut and began winding some gauze around his leg. She was done within a few minutes and began to pack the first aid kit.

"Thank you so much Dr. Yamanaka for taking some time off of you're vacation to tend to my cousin. I don't know how we'll repay you for your kindness," Itachi offered smoothly.

Waving her hand dismissively, she replied, "It not a problem, Mr. Suzuki. It is my last day and the hotel offered to reimburse for any extra amenities I used as payment for this. Just make sure your cousin applies this cream after every bathe and that cut should heal within a matter of days. I am a bit worried about his back though. It may be sprained from the fall, but if anything acts up and he needs to come to the hospital, just ask for me, and I'll attend to you."

She handed Itachi the tube of cream for Sasuke's cut and left the room as well. After a few minutes to make sure the coast was clear, Itachi quickly dodged the book that was thrown at his head.

"You Fucker! If You ever Trip Me Again Without My Consent I Will Shave You're Fucking Head While You Sleep!" Sasuke yelled at his brother as he threw his next projectile, finding satisfaction when it hit him square in the head.

Rubbing the sore spot on his forehead where the notepad hit him, Itachi smirked and calmly said,

"If you know when it's coming, it won't seem realistic. You may be good fooling people but you suck at falling believably"

Rising off the bed Sasuke approached his brother and vehemently replied, "I _**fall**_ just fine and at least blood isn't shed in the process." At this he dropped to the ground to prove his point.

"Fake," was the lazy reply

"I'll show you fake!" while on the ground, he pulled his brother's legs from under him, causing Itachi to fall and land on his ass.

Of course this lead to rough-housing a bit and then mild laughter as the brother then both got up and decided to relax and enjoy the remainder of their stay, as the next day they went shopping for a new big job!

**Well there you have it! It may have taken me 2 or 3 years to write it, but it is done! I will be starting back college next week so I will try to get in chapter 4 before my classes start on Monday.**

**This all done mostly from memory and yes a lot of the scenes are very similar to the movie, and yes I probably overly described a lot of things, but that is what stories are for, to give a full description and play by play to help visualize the situations and people**

**(1) I figured it'll be better to help cover their tracks more, remember con artists got to leave no loose ends**

**(2) For those who don't know they mean breast, boobs or any other words resembling cleavage**

**(3) I was going to make her Tsunade, but come one, how many of you all are sick of all the type casted jobs some the characters are constantly put it. I rarely read Ino as a doctor so change is good**

**(4) Again they are con artists, therefore they have many aliases! Itachi is "Shinseki Suzuki" I didn't bother to think up one for Sasuke cuz he'll be having 2 more later on**

**Anyways Reviews are always appreciated and welcomed!**

**Aelfrick Sai Wolf formerly known as Undercover Rocker/ UCR**


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